Truth is a Comfort

Lord, you saw my sadness at the unexpected death of my kids step-mom.  I remembered the lessons you've taught me lately - in particular the one about "no more sadness" - and I fumbled with it's activation in this situation.  But You are always "at the ready" with an explanation for me; and even though I wasn't searching for one - I was reaching to You for Your comfort, Your presence; and You gave me my answer; even though I didn't ask.
{Matt 22 - . . .have you not read what God said to you, ³² ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.” }

I SEE IT!  Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are NOT dead - but alive!  They are alive!
This very sweet lady is not dead; she knew You, Lord; and she is alive - right now!

These were Jesus's words.  They are in RED.  I know a preacher who constantly says "Red words WIN".

You are so good, Lord.  Your comfort is REAL; it isn't just a pat on the back and a shoulder to cry on; it is Truth.  I never thought of Truth as a Comfort.

righteousness

You, Lord, have made me righteous (in right standing with God) through Faith.  I AM the righteousness (right-ness) of God in Christ (2 Cor 5:21).  I have suffered from feelings of inferiority and low self-esteem because I did not understand righteousness.  But You made it clear:  righteousness makes me confident; righteousness makes me bold; righteousness is my scepter of the kingdom (Heb 1:8); and in righteousness I am as bold as a lion (Prov 28:1).
You called me out and told me to go in your name (Mark 16:15); You commanded me to be separate from the world (John 17:14-15) - but not alone (Matt 28:20) and not helpless in the attacks that will come (Psalms 23:4) because You live IN me and cause me to be greater (1 John 4:4).
You told me that I would be hated because of You (Matt 10:22) but if I stand firm - I will be saved.
My standing firm only comes from You and because of the Joy You give me.  (Neh 8:10).
My righteousness comes from the Lord.  That you may be glorified in all the earth.
Amen.

and now you tell me that discouragement is also not a necessary commodity in my life.  That I not only do not have to succumb to it on occassion, but that it is deeply NOT Your will at all if I do.  And that when I do, it gives you pause to look at me and wonder why - really, why would I choose to spend a moment there?  That after all You have done to make Joy and Peace available to me . . . at my fingertips, so to speak; the greatest fulfillment and satisfaction just a breath away . . . what would entice me to the dark, droopy chambers of discouragement?
And then I see your silent look of serious knowledge.  It's not a happy look that I'm accustomed to see on your face.  But I know it's origin.  You know.  You knew before we did.  You are completely familiar with the tricks, the deciets and the lies.  This one being quite far at the top of the list of lies.  These being lies we believe, lies we all are convinced to be true.  This being the lie: we cannot help how we feel.  It being such a simple lie . . . and we swallow it hook, line and sinker.
"we cannot help how we feel"
I know what deciet it is.  I know how fickle and flighty our emotions truly are. . . here one moment and there the next; but even worse the ones we blame on others . . . "I feel this way because you . . ."
And how we fight a good fight to have the right to carry our "feelings" on a pedestal and worship them.  "They are so pure and holy and wonderful, you know."  "Look at them again . . . oh, yes, the tears, OH, those are truly deserved and wonderful tears!"  "My how gracious you are to bear up under such; you are so amazing!"
Oh, Lord, I see it now.  How ridiculous we must seem to you sometimes; we must seem in the light of your Joy and Love.  Being here - right here - just a breath - just a choice away.  Not a chore away, not a hard struggle, not a climb up a hill - just a simple choice.  For me to say the words "I choose You" . . . and then let my heart follow the words my lips have just spoken.  How simple!  How amazingly simple!
Oh, but Lord, we must let go.  Why don't we want to let go?  What joy lies in holding on to the sad, darkness of discouragement?  What satisfaction could there be?  Are we more pure and holy to be justified in sadness!  Ha!  Another lie!
"I CHOOSE YOU, LORD!  I LET IT GO, LORD!  I BREATH IN YOUR JOY, LORD!"  I say.

No sadness

Thank you for sharing with me the joy in Your presence and the knowledge that I don't have to live in another moment of sadness.  Truly, the only sadness I ever need to live through, or feel overflowing in me, is only by my own choice.  You are right here all the time!  Every moment You are available.  I can crawl into Your lap, wrap my arms around You, rest against Your shoulder . . . and sigh . . . and let it all go.  And immediately comes the flood.  It washes all throughout my soul and heart - great elation - great joyous elation.  Never have I known that before except maybe once or twice in extreme situations of happiness.  But here it is at any moment that I choose.  Here you are - always on the ready.  More thrilling to my soul than the first moment of any of the greatest milestones in my life.  I don't have to chase it; or wonder where it went; or regret that I have lived them all and there is nothing left; or wonder if I can ever feel it again.  I have You right here at my call . . . every moment . . . every tiny, ticking moment.  My wonderful Lord; my beautiful Father; my precious Saviour; my Love; my King!

Oh, Lord, my God; thank You deeply for the priviledge I got this morning of hearing my husband open his heart to You.  For his thoughts and his words were a window into his deepest soul; as he spoke to You without reservation in my presence.  Many of his concerns and beliefs, of course, I knew; but what I didn't know was how firm the commitment of his Faith in You; how convinced he is . . . of Your love to him, and Your commitment to him.  It was packed full of humble appreciation for Your goodness; a humbleness most women aren't privy to hear.
Oh, how far we've come.  And all the Glory . . . is Yours.

Thank you again, Lord.  You were right there with me, guiding my words and filling my spirit with peace as I confronted the "boss" (for lack of a better term).  Lord, only you know why he has ignored, procrastinated and/or been unavailable for a personal discussion for 3 weeks regarding urgent and important issues.  It sure seemed rude and disrespectful - but that's judging, isn't it?  Anyway, you knew my concern that as a result, the frustration had mounted to an all time high and I did not want to fly off the handle or carry myself in a demeanor other than completely in control and professional.  You not only accomplished that in me, you caused me to do it with a bit of humor and "just-plain-people" ease.  And Lord, I hope I wasn't condescending when I told him to "smile, when you're being rude, it helps" and I smiled. 
I'm struggling Lord, with the fine line between judging and being able to identify sin, as I confronted him very sweetly with the 3rd lie he'd told in only 10 minutes.  And I'm sorry I laughed when he said that people in the front office complained about us; when I know every one of those people and they have gone to bat for us, helping us out in this situation against him.  I also know very clearly that he was extremely but quietly angry with me for nicely pointing out that I was not someone beneath him but rather an equal (who could look him in the eye when he could not).
So, Lord in light of the victory of this battle, I know the war is probably not over quite yet and I ask for angels working behind the scenes to continue protecting us with information so we are not blindsided by the lies and bullying deceit used in our society to cheat people out of money and time.  I am your child and I am fully aware that You are the one who had the wisdom to beat him at his game and face him with complete confidence of winning.
You are such an awesome God . . . and sometimes you just make me feel "ten feet tall and bullet-proof".
Thank you, Jesus. 

God is for us

[Romans 8
 ³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:
   “For your sake we face death all day long;
   we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”^[k]
 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[l] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.]

Thank you, Lord for letting me see this Word "we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered".  This is how the world sees us: our Faith worthless, our Word idiotic, our Savior unseen.  And yet, because He lives within me, I am more than a conqueror because nothing . . . none of these things can stop His overwhelming great love from living in me, from filling me up.  And since it is Life itself - I have it all - everything.  I am not condemned and rejected and unloved and unworthy; but rather I am lifted up, accepted, loved, and worthy by God, Himself.
AMEN!

unquestioningly

"God has something better for you than you have ever had in the past. Come out into all the fulness of faith and power and life and victory that He is willing to provide, as you forget the things of the past, and press right on for the prize of His high calling in Christ Jesus."  Smith Wigglesworth.

Struggling with my past and the mistakes I've made; I know they cannot be undone; I can only be forgiven.  In His mercy He reminds me of Moses - who murdered.  But God called Him to be a leader.  God didn't undo the murder and bring the murdered man back to life.  But thru it, God turned Moses into the man of God that HE wanted him to be.  Not what anyone else wanted him to be.  Only what God wanted him to be.

If mistakes and horrible pasts do anything for me at all; I want them to make me into the woman God wants of me . . . no one elses idea, not even mine - just God's idea.  He has grand ideas and I find that as I'm humbled by my own complete helplessness to fix anything - even myself - He finds that to be a welcome open door to begin a molding and leading into directions I didn't expect.

At the same time, He asks me to leave what was behind.  Leave it . . . unfixed.  And follow Him unquestioningly forward. 

the Father of the prodigal son

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." Luke 15:17 Story of the Prodigal Son.
This father must have been standing at the window searching the road; or working outside but constantly searching the road looking for his son . . . it must have been a vigil for this father to search and search and search.  And yet, he did not chase his son earlier.  When the son left, the father let him go.  He did not chase him down and beg him to think about his decision and return to the safety of his home.  He did not try to reason with him.  It doesn't say that he discussed it with him at all.  He let him go.  He gave him his freewill and gave him his inheritance willingly, then let him go.  But he maintained a vigil all the while, searching the road for his son to return.  And as soon as he saw his son - he RAN.  He was filled with compassion.  He knew.  He knew that his son was broken.  He knew that is what would bring him home.  He knew what that son would go thru, but he did not stop him.  He knew this is what he had to do.
Standing quietly and allowing a child to make a wrong decison.  That would take an act of God.  But this father knew that he had given his son all he had.  What more could he do.  If he talked him out of his decision, the son would only resent the constraint and guilt; and eventually he would go anyway.
Free will.  Amazing gift.  Amazing responsibility.
Unconditional love.  Always waiting.  Always searching.  Ready to RUN.