FAMILY - FAMILIES

Wow!  In Your Presence I see every member of my family as though they were floating individually through the smoke of Your Essence; swirling by me one by one; gliding gently as though Your hand were beneath them softly supporting.  And as I see each beautiful face; each child; each spouse; each grandchild; my heart is so full of thanksgiving.  You blessed me with them.  Each one of them; so beautiful; each one so unique.  And as they come to the foreground in front of me, I see all there is about them; their strengths and weaknesses; their hopes and their failures; and I'm amazed at the whole package of each one.  Then they drift and swing into the background as another sweeps foreward before me. 

But I notice those in the background.  And suddenly I wondered.  What if that meant that I lost one in this life?  Whether it was to separation geographically, or emotional trauma, or marriage dissolution, or death.  Normally, such a thought of horror; but strangely in this setting; Your Presence; I know that whether they are before me or in the background, they are still completely in Your Presence.  They are still being held and supported in Your hand; still floating in the essence of You - LOVE; still visible to me through You; still known by me in You.

I am so, so very thankful for this vision, my Lord.  It is so extremely comforting to my Mother's heart as I love them and care for them all from afar.  Because they are no longer sitting in my lap or playing at my feet.  It's lonely from afar.

But thank you also, Lord, that at this stage of my life, you cared to give me the best friends I have ever had.  And they stick close by and spend constant time.  It makes me chuckle because I think we are mostly forgotten, but we are here together.  We freely accept each other.  We freely give to each other.  We are comfortable in jammies and slippers.  And we don't care if we're pretty or messy.
It's a whole new world I never knew about when I was a Mommie.

And it's surprisingly beautiful.

So.  I actually have it all.  I have THEM all.  ALWAYS!  They are NEVER gone.

Cool!

should we stop someone from making a horrible mistake?

Jesus, you didn't stop Peter.  You knew he was going to deny you 3 times.  You told him so. But you never tried to stop him.  You told him what he was going to do and your input was to pray for him that afterward he would teach his brethren.  You didn't pray for him to stop or to survive it without heartbreak, or to change his course in any way.  You prayed that he would teach his brethren?

I think of this, Lord and wonder.  I can't recall any place where you stopped someone from a course of action, or prayed for them to change it.  And I wonder.  I wonder because we spend a great deal of time praying to change someones behavior or choices or course of action.  We labor over it.  Especially when it is someone we love and we can see their direction leading to heartbreak, failure or other disaster.  So we plead with You to change them.  We spend a great deal of time in this prayer and pleading.  But You never did this.  Not once.

People were completely free to be whatever they wanted to be and You accepted that.  And it wasn't that You didn't judge the course of their actions.  You already knew those.  You knew the results.

You knew what Judas was going to do and never once tried to talk to him, or explain to him the result of his actions.  I understand that his role was fulfillment of prophesy.  But he was still a person.  As each of us are.  And I think that in Your shoes, I would have tried to talk to him and save his soul.

After all, we are told that You don't want ANYONE to perish.  We are told to "snatch people from the fire" and yet, You give us all such complete freedom of choice without berating, cajoling or otherwise trying to  . . . manipulate . . . our choices.

When our emotions are all afire with panic, worry, and desperation to change the course of someone we love, Your response is to pray that AFTERWARD they will teach?

And that leads me to the next conclusion; the teaching.  Obviously, this "teaching" is NOT to prevent situations from occurring in peoples lives.  So, what would this "teaching" be?

I have contemplated the course of thoughts Peter must have experienced.  I imagine the denial was a panic of sorts as he saw his Lord being lead away by soldiers.  His mind was probably all ablur of thoughts and emotions.  Why was the Lord being lead away by soldiers when He was the Savior of the world and could cause a thousand angels to save Him at any moment?  What is the Lord doing?  Is this it?  Is He really going to die and come back in 3 days like He kept saying? Or was I wrong about Him?  Was I wrong all along?  What if He isn't the Messiah?  Was I wrong?

I can see him facing a flood of questions from his own mind and it took (as we would say) a minute to process.  But as Peter is processing, someone asks if he isn't a disciple.  I imagine he just wanted to say "GO AWAY and leave me alone! I have to figure this out!"

Peter had experienced the Holy Spirit's revealing nature when he told Jesus that He was the Messiah, the Son of God.  And he had experienced the divine power of God through his own hands as Jesus gave them the loaves and fishes to pass out to the people.  Right in the Apostles hands the food multiplied AS they gave it away.  Peter also witnessed dead raised, sick healed, seas calmed and every other miracle Jesus performed.

So in the end of his processing, the conclusion was firm.  Jesus is the Messiah.  And just because the Lord is being lead away by soldiers, and just because the situation looks grim; Jesus is still the Messiah.  Nothing else matters.  Whatever it looks like just doesn't matter.  Jesus is the Messiah.

Finally, it is settled.  The conflict and crisis is over in Peter's heart and mind.  The matter has no more question.  And the firm result is a revelation that can never change for Peter.  He is now beyond ever questioning this result ever again.  Nothing will ever shake this conclusion.  Jesus is the Messiah.

The completeness of his Faith now transports him into a new level of understanding.  And this understanding brings new power.  This new conviction opens a new door.  Nothing can stop his Faith from this vantage point. 

As soon as Peter finishes denying the Lord 3 times, he immediately remembers the Lord told him this would happen.  And Peter weeps bitterly.  Afterward, his repentance is complete.  And so is his Faith.

So, Jesus, You knew.  You knew there was a tiny piece inside Peter that would flounder in the face of crisis.  But You also knew that the process would bring Peter to the other side as a more complete Apostle.  Therefore, You did not attempt to stop it from happening.  You only prayed that afterward, Peter would teach his brethren.

What did he teach them? Oh, wait, I see it.  He taught them the process of resolving every question in their mind until they came to the complete and whole Faith in their Messiah. 

So when we pray and plead with You, Lord, to change the course of someones actions, are we really doing them a favor?  Don't we all need to pursue every avenue in our heart to come to the conclusion that our Faith is complete and secure - or we have none?  And OUR methods of convincing and cajoling someone into a course change actually becomes a manipulative disservice to them.  Those questions are never firmly squared off; but instead we push them aside and let them free float in our lives until they surface in another area, and in another way.

*sigh*.  So how do we stand aside and watch someone we love going down a wrong path?  How do we only pray that "afterward" they will teach?  How do we take our "hands" off?  How do we not plead with the Lord to turn them and change them?  How?

I only see one way, Lord.  The same way You did it.  You KNEW in Your Spirit what was going on, and You TRUSTED in the Father.

We have those same qualities in us.  You live and dwell in us; we are a body wholly filled and flooded with God, Himself.  We already have those same qualities.  They are the perfection of Your Spirit in OUR Spirit which is already a NEW creature.  The questions, the worry, the panic, the wondering; all those qualities are in our "soulish realm" which is our Mind, our Will and our Emotions; the one area left to us that is not yet redeemed.

But thank You, Lord we have Your Spirit.  We can KNOW Your Will.

So, should we stop someone from making a horrible mistake?  Your Spirit inside us, knows the answer.

the trouble with getting offended

After being offended and having people offended at me so many times, Lord, you pointed out to me what an enemy "offence" is to You.  And just like a vision that unfolds before our eyes, I saw all the situations and circumstances in my own life when "offence" played the key role.  But the most profound revelation was seeing the = sign at the end of each situation.  Behind that sign was always a destructive end.
[i.e. - Joe spoke; Jane was offended; and it equaled . . . anger, hate, insecurity, sorrow, etc.]

Why do we see 'being offended' as such a natural and common response to daily situations when You observe it as an enemy?  Why do we accept it as an outcome when You warn us so pointedly?

Please help me, Lord, to do as you always did - walk away from being offended; to make the decision 'I will not play in this game of destruction'. 

Learning, learning, learning

Learning amazes me.  Especially when I learn about You, Lord.  And the learning You have brought me into lately has been the kind that elicits deep "Oooo's" and "Ahhhh's" from me.

For instance, the Kerite Jew who studied original manuscripts and deciphered the most probable name for You.  I never noticed all the scripture that tells us specifically to call on the "name" of the Lord.  But we have taken for granted all the names we use are generally "titles" and not your actual name.  What a profoundly friendly and neighborly thing it is to know Your name.  A deeply satisfying effect it had on my heart to learn this.

And next You swooped me right into research of our "religious traditions".  Now that was eye-opening how far we are from the "church" that Jesus knew.  But again, so comforting to hear of the simplicity of worship You chose, the leadership of Your Spirit without the buffering of men, and the completely personal communication You had with Your believers. 

I thrill at Your educating me.  Freely I gave You the reins and quickly You have forged ahead.  I barely have time to digest the one and the next is before me.

One common thread goes through it all.  You are showing me Yourself, as a personality, a character of depth, with a singular desire to "be in love and share it all".  And I find that You are interesting and lovable and . . . so comfortable.

Why are there those who fear searching?  Those who fear that knowledge and truth will crumble their faith?  In taking the chance to trust You and plunge forward, I have learned horrible truths about mankind which lead only to more pleasant truths about You.  I'm no longer afraid.  I have found that there is no fact that cannot lead me even closer to You.

I am in awe.