and now you tell me that discouragement is also not a necessary commodity in my life.  That I not only do not have to succumb to it on occassion, but that it is deeply NOT Your will at all if I do.  And that when I do, it gives you pause to look at me and wonder why - really, why would I choose to spend a moment there?  That after all You have done to make Joy and Peace available to me . . . at my fingertips, so to speak; the greatest fulfillment and satisfaction just a breath away . . . what would entice me to the dark, droopy chambers of discouragement?
And then I see your silent look of serious knowledge.  It's not a happy look that I'm accustomed to see on your face.  But I know it's origin.  You know.  You knew before we did.  You are completely familiar with the tricks, the deciets and the lies.  This one being quite far at the top of the list of lies.  These being lies we believe, lies we all are convinced to be true.  This being the lie: we cannot help how we feel.  It being such a simple lie . . . and we swallow it hook, line and sinker.
"we cannot help how we feel"
I know what deciet it is.  I know how fickle and flighty our emotions truly are. . . here one moment and there the next; but even worse the ones we blame on others . . . "I feel this way because you . . ."
And how we fight a good fight to have the right to carry our "feelings" on a pedestal and worship them.  "They are so pure and holy and wonderful, you know."  "Look at them again . . . oh, yes, the tears, OH, those are truly deserved and wonderful tears!"  "My how gracious you are to bear up under such; you are so amazing!"
Oh, Lord, I see it now.  How ridiculous we must seem to you sometimes; we must seem in the light of your Joy and Love.  Being here - right here - just a breath - just a choice away.  Not a chore away, not a hard struggle, not a climb up a hill - just a simple choice.  For me to say the words "I choose You" . . . and then let my heart follow the words my lips have just spoken.  How simple!  How amazingly simple!
Oh, but Lord, we must let go.  Why don't we want to let go?  What joy lies in holding on to the sad, darkness of discouragement?  What satisfaction could there be?  Are we more pure and holy to be justified in sadness!  Ha!  Another lie!
"I CHOOSE YOU, LORD!  I LET IT GO, LORD!  I BREATH IN YOUR JOY, LORD!"  I say.