thy will be done . . .

Isn't it interesting that we all know the Lord's Prayer by heart, but seldom understand the sentences we are saying, particularly "thy will be done".
I always imagined that meant, goodness, sweetness and love all over the earth.  OK, that's not wrong.  But it's also not all.  For instance in our own lives, we seem to live under the fog that we don't really know what God's plan is for our lives; it's something hazy out there in the unknown and we just hope that we are going in the right direction - but we aren't sure.  It's a bit like stumbling around in the dark, feeling with our hands.
And then I discovered that God had no problem showing me what His plan was for my life.  All it really took was for me to surrender my own plans and open my heart and mind to what His were.  Then piece by piece He began showing me things that I thought were just tiny little daydreams that popped into my mind from somewhere out there.  At first it was just a flash of a picture; like the one of me & Dennis sitting on a small balcony overlooking a city and a bay at night - all the lights of the city twinkling - and the aroma of wonderful food wafting up to us - and I knew we were somewhere in South or Central America.  This little "vision" flashed through my mind in just a second.  But it was so real that I could almost smell the food and feel the breeze from the bay.  I thought it was a really cool dream, or desire that suddenly popped into my mind.  But later on, He reminded me of that moment and showed me that it was a moment that could happen in my future if I knew it came from Him and if I believed that He could do it - but more than that - believe that He was going to do it.  He showed me that moment was surrounded by circumstances I couldn't see in a "snapshot" - why we were there, what we were doing during the day.  And He reminded me that when we submit to His plan, two things are accomplished: His plan, and our desires (better than we could have ever done them).  He showed me that I was there doing His work, but as I worked He was blessing me.  My faith mixed with His plans and then mixed with my belief and confessed out-loud is a mixture that causes action in the supernatural realm.
I know this "snapshot" is going to happen in my life.  How do I know?  Because I know it was His plan, not mine.  And because He has done this before to me.  Only, I didn't know and understand that it was Him.  There have been so many of these "snapshots" in my life.  Some of them happened and some didn't.  I always thought they were just little dreams of my own making and it was a crap-shoot whether they happened or not.  But now I know it's God's way of involving us in His plan and if we would cooperate and do the second step - believe and confess - more of these moments would actually happen.
He showed me that I was giving myself far too much credit for inventing these moments in my mind; because they weren't actually in my mind - they were in my spirit.  And that is why I could actually smell the food and feel the breeze.
He is a much better God than we give Him credit.  He is much more capable of performing great and awesome works and miracles in our lives than we can conceive.  If we would only rest and give up the reins of control to Him; He actually loves us more than we love ourselves.  But we think we will only achieve our desires by firm hands on the reins and a little luck.
We were redeemed with a great price.  Do we really think He paid that kind of price to leave the planning in the hands of our "pea-sized" brains?  We aren't nearly capable of conceiving the wonderful things He has in store for us while we are doing His work (which by the way, won't feel like "work").
This "snapshot" is a very small piece of a plan for my life that He has been unfolding for me in the last few months.  A plan that I never knew about until recently.  Not because God just now conceived it; no; He knew about this plan before I was born; but I just now began learning to cooperate and listen.
I don't have to be afraid that he is going to put me somewhere horrible where I'll be miserable.  He isn't a "horrible" kind of God.  He doesn't conceive "miserable".  If it looks "horrible" or "miserable" right now, then crawl into His heart and wallow in His love for awhile until you can see the "plan".   Ask Him to show you.  He will.  And when He does - Believe and then Confess it is yours.
This life is a very meaningful and very wonderful adventure when we do. 

sure seemed right

"there is a way that seems right . . . but in the end the result is death" Proverbs 14:12
Oh, Lord how many, many years we go along making the best decisions that we know how; and sometimes they were things that we really do know something about.  But slowly, down the road, somehow they do not lead to success; but rather life seems to unravel more and more.  At first we think it was his fault about this thing or that, or their fault about another thing, or someone elses fault about that thing over there; but the simple fact was that it just didn't work out the way it was supposed to work.  And we'd try harder and harder.  Eventually, we think we need to completely change associations because that's the problem.  Or a divorce is needed because he's the problem.  Or just wait until the kids are grown up, and then do what is really in my heart and that would bring everything onto the right track.  But none of those things happened either.  Different friends and different personal situations only bring a change of environment.  Those decisions do not bring better success.  And eventually all the disappointments come to lay directly on our door step. 
And it's overwhelming.  We as humans are too fragile to bear up under that much disappointment.  It breaks us.  We become shattered and horribly mutilated.  And no one else seems to care too much; they are in the same boat - or worse - something actually came together for them and they don't want to jinx it by dabbling in your horror.
Maybe this is a little extreme; or in some cases it isn't extreme enough.  But either way, we are damaged by life; maybe a little, maybe a lot.
I suffered for years under the resolution that my decisions were just crap; and I apologized to my kids, to my ex-husband, to my friends; but it didn't change.  And I could hardly bear the reality of how life turned out.
I started with all the same hopes and dreams as most folks.  They were pretty simple; marriage, kids, a good job, a home, growing old together, grand kids, retirement and . . . well, something went so wrong. 
So, I spent another 10-20 years bearing the guilt of shame for messing up such a simple plan.  Why was I such a loser?
Then I saw this verse. 
"there is a way that seems right . . . but in the end the result is death" Proverbs 14:12
And it clicked.
It wasn't just me.  It's a lot of people.  We naively go about the business of life, making the best decisions we know . . . and then THIS!  This is where it lands?
Then in the last few years something changed in my life and suddenly it "clicks" now.  I know nothing bad is going to happen.  I know it's only going to get better and better and better.  I know it.  I know it in my gut.  I feel the goodness oozing all around me. 
What changed?  Oh, wow, . . . actually a lot changed.  First my focus changed.  It went to God; Jesus, my Savior and the Holy Spirit, my guide.  I threw down the reins of my life in despair and ran to His arms in desperation for a reason to stay alive.  And He became my reason.  He filled me with love and hope and peace . . . but it's so different from before.  This love isn't something I struggle to get - it's just a free gift and it's there whenever I want to wallow in it.  The same for the hope and peace.
I don't try to "make" anything work out anymore.  It's almost like being on vacation all the time.  It's almost like not really having responsibilities - and yet, I'm not irresponsible - I just give Him all the real responsibility for everything.  If it's going to work, He had better do it, or it won't happen.  I walk forward and let Him live through me.
Gradually, very gradually, I got better and better at doing this.  And the more I did, the better things got.
And now I know that I'm no different or worse than anyone else; I'm not a bigger loser than anyone else.  I wasn't trying to be rebellious toward God; I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do . . . make all the best decisions based on the best information and be a nice, loving person . . . and it'll all work out.
Wow, how simply wrong and naive can we be?
He just simply did not make us to be in charge on our own - it only works when He's in charge through us.  And it's so much easier!  Once we get the idea, and get the knack of how that works.
Thank you, Lord for "picking me up from the muddy clay"!
Thank you for choosing to give up your life for me - so I could live a better life.  And thank you for Resurrection, so you can live through me.  You really are my Savior.

He supplies my needs AND wants

Thank you so much, Lord.  My heart is full of thanksgiving to you for the blessings that overflow into my life in abundance.  There are so many people who are afraid of asking you for your abundance and there are those who ask for abundance with selfish motives; but you have proven to me over and over that you prefer that we talk to you most - and if we are asking in error, it's no big deal, you aren't standing there with a whip raised over our heads, the only thing that will happen is that we will get closer and closer to you because we are talking.  Even talking in error is better than not talking at all.  You strengthen the weak and you do "course corrections" on those in error.  You look at the heart.  You see our need for You in ALL that you are.  And so I thank you.  Your love and patience and teaching are the best in the world, or in the universe.  There is truly no one like you.
I looked at my finances and saw what You have done.  When Dennis was out of work for 6 months, You paid our bills - every one - no matter if it was a wise debt or a foolish one - it didn't matter to You.  We committed to pay each one and You honored that if we come to you and asked.  And You humbled me through that experience.  Asking You for money filled me with fear; but you showed me Your Love that is like the best Daddy I could ever imagine.  You didn't condemn me; You didn't judge me; You didn't chastise me.  You only told me to add it all up regularly and watch.  Our income was less than our bills - it looked impossible.  But You not only paid them - You paid them on time.  And You did it month after month.  And in addition; You supplied the money to pay our tithe; You supplied the money for groceries and gas; You even supplied money for my "wants".
I hear preachers say "God supplies our 'needs' not our 'greeds'."  And now looking back I have to laugh.  You are an awesome Daddy who LOVES to supply not only my needs but also my wants.  You showed me what 'greed' really is and it is truly an evil thing - it is devoid of love and caring and compassion.  Your children who truly KNOW You cannot be filled with any kind of 'greed' - it would be impossible.   We should have no fear of this temptation.
Finally, I asked You to fill me with the 'superabundance' You said that You have.  And I didn't see anything for a while.  I even got discouraged and began to wonder if 'they' were right and asking for this was 'wrong'.  But gradually I saw why you had me make the lists regularly.  It's been 2 years now and our income has almost doubled; we have paid off 1/3 of our bills; we still go on our vacation; we bought our home (paid cash);we still go out to dinner now & then as we have desire; we still buy things we 'want' over and above things we 'need'; and the list lost it's power to cause fear in me long ago - it only serves to prove Your 'good and perfect will' in my life.
I don't talk about this to anyone, because this has been between You and me (and Dennis); and we have kept it as 'our' personal and intimate relationship with you.
But now I have the proof, right here in these lists, of how truly powerful and loving You are; of how FREE Your love truly is; and how eager and ready You are to 'overabundantly supply' ALL that we need or want or hope or dream.
This kind of love only produces more humility - not greed.
Thank you, Jesus.  Jesus, I love you.

a stronger Faith

Lord, thank you that in my experiences of the past few months, you still never leave me; but you use everything for my good.  I didn't know that 'going public' would put me in the bulls eye for negative input.  I was naive in thinking that everyone would want to share my thoughts.  I should have known by Your own experiences that critics and problems come from some who are supposed to be a part of my community.  The pain of rejection and criticism brought me through a new swamp-land of obstacles - but now I know that the lasting effect of them were this one thing - a stronger Faith in You.  And that above all becomes so super amazing to me. 
I believe that to spend eternity with You means that I will have endless time to continue to be amazed by You.
And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that privilege and for those who DO share my enthusiasm for Your amazing Love working in my life.