great sadness

I've been talking to Him a lot with a great sadness hanging over my heart - and in His sweet, tenderness He has been comforting me.  My sadness has been the result of the great defeat I see Christians living every day; and when I talk about miracles, I only see their eyes glass over - or I recieve arguments.  So, I cry.  Deeply.  Asking Him why His children live in such a way?  Why?  He is just as capable and just as willing to accomplish the same things He did when He was in a physical body of His own - He is still here, in us.
Today, He made me aware of the smallest verse in the Bible - "Jesus wept".  So, I went there.  It's in John 11.

33 When Jesus saw her sobbing, and the Jews who came with her [also] sobbing, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. [He chafed in spirit and sighed and was disturbed.]
    ³⁴And He said, Where have you laid him? They said to Him, Lord, come and see.
    ³⁵Jesus wept.
    ³⁶The Jews said, See how [tenderly] He loved him!
    ³⁷But some of them said, Could not He Who opened a blind man's eyes have prevented this man from dying?
    ³⁸Now Jesus, again sighing repeatedly and deeply disquieted, approached the tomb. It was a cave (a hole in the rock), and a boulder lay against [the entrance to close] it.
    ³⁹Jesus said, Take away the stone. Martha, the sister of the dead man, exclaimed, But Lord, by this time he [is decaying and] throws off an offensive odor, for he has been dead four days!
    ⁴⁰Jesus said to her, Did I not tell you and ^[a]promise you that if you would believe and rely on Me, you would see the glory of God?

And I saw it.  In verse 33. "He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. [He chafed in spirit and sighed and was disturbed.]"  Jesus did NOT cry because Lazarus died.  He was troubled and "chafed" in spirit and sighed.  It is the same reaction I have been suffering for a couple weeks.  And Jesus experienced the same response. 
Even the children of God have different levels of Faith.  I cannot judge or critisize their choice at their level of maturity - because it is a choice.  And Father God gave them the right to free will.

Psalm 119:5-7
" Oh, that my ways were directed and established to observe Your statutes [hearing, receiving, loving, and obeying them]!
    ⁶Then shall I not be put to shame [by failing to inherit Your promises] when I have respect to all Your commandments.
    ⁷I will praise and give thanks to You with uprightness of heart when I learn [by sanctified experiences] Your righteous judgments [Your decisions against and punishments for particular lines of thought and conduct]."

We learn "by sanctified experiences".  And we all share this method of learning.  It is what takes us from glory to glory to find out how to live in His guidance (statutes) and come to the place of recieving His promises as a result.
In the meantime, He doesn't reject us, or close the door on us for our choice to live less than victoriously.  No.  The door is always open.  And if we choose defeat in this life; we will find it in full when we are gone home to be with Him.
Thank you, Jesus, for your love is unconditional.  You give us these choices, and don't reject us even when we reject or fail to learn the promises, the victory, and the overcoming.