Yeah, I wanna eat the whole thing

Father, do you know how frustrating it is to try to understand you with my brain?

Here's how the scenario goes.  You give me a Revelation of some kind or other and it's thrilling, exciting and momentary.  I know there is more.  I know I only saw a glimpse.  I know the piece I saw is just a piece.

I want more, more, more, more.  So my brain takes over and starts searching, searching, searching.  I go to the Web.  I go to the Bible.  I go to other Believers.  I go to every source of information that I can.

Eventually my search leads to small embellishments of the Revelation You gave me, but that's all it is - a small embellishment.

Suddenly I feel frustrated.  My joy is gone.  The thrill at receiving the Revelation has dwindled.  I am sad.

WHAT?  How can I be sad?  Because You give me nibbles and I want gobbles.  I know that YOU KNOW how much to give me.  Therefore, I must be only ready for nibbles.  AHHHHHCCCHHH!

There I am.  Frustrated.  This isn't right.  Then suddenly I know why Satan rebelled.  It's the same thing.  He wanted to rush forward, headlong into the Glory.  He wanted it all.  So he got angry and stomped and stomped like a small child screaming in Your face.  All the while You loved him.  You love us.

It leads back to the beginning.  Surrender.  Again I must surrender to Your Will, Your Wisdom, Your Knowledge. 

Again, I must Trust You.  You know how fast to go.  You know how much to give.  You know my level of maturity.

*sigh*.  .  .  .  .  . *small smile*

I'm glad You know.  You saw me enjoy that whipped cream until I ate the whole thing.  You saw me, huh? *sheepish grin*  You also saw me rub my tummy all evening too.

I know You're smarter than me.  I Trust You.  Thank You for still loving me.