It was the squeezing, tight squeezing in my chest that got my attention finally. I remember that. It had become a familiar but ugly companion at my last job. But, I learned. My Lord, my true companion, gave me the key and I took it. It took me a minute to figure out where to put the key and how to turn it; but when I did . . . that ugly companion began to lose his moments in my chest.
Now, suddenly, he was back. Hmmmmm. You sneak! You found a cracked door and pushed that sucker open! OK. You did it. But now you're discovered. Ha! And I still have my key.
Computer issues; crashing, black screens, no blinking lights, freezing, no response. It's like a dark room you don't ever want to visit, but here you are. Then the interrogation begins. When did it start, what was it doing, why was it there. And next comes the hunt. Pull out the guns, get the team together, find the scent and begin the trek.
It's intensive and relentless like a vortex, pulling, pulling, pulling. 3 days of loading, freezing, re-loading, crashing.
Some of it is a bit fun like Nancy Drew tracking down the evil culprit. Until that squeezing joined the game.
So I asked. "Lord, you know better than I do. What's going on here? This isn't You."
Mail came. Magazine fell open.
"For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God." Romans 8:6-8.
Wow. There's that light bulb again. (I love it when that happens!)
Squeezing = carnally minded. Peace/contentment = spiritually minded.
"OK, Lord, I see it. The squeezing is intense stress and pressure coming at me from my own mind-set (carnality). I'm getting thoughts like: "I have to fix this thing, I have responsibilities and it's my main tool". Or the other one was, "How am I going to get anything done without it?" Both of these ideas are: Me trying to fix my world without You. And it's death.
In You is Life. Outside of You is death.
Yeah! I see that one real clear! That squeezing certainly feels like death. And I also know that medically this is the kind of stress that actually kills people over time. That's why I grabbed this key when You gave it to me the first time.
Nope. Not going to stay here. Not doing it. Simple decision.
I let it go. I even heard myself say it out loud "throw it away". And I walked away from it. I was ready to give it away, throw it away . . . or whatever it took; but I'm not joining this squeezing game anymore. Then I went to bed.
Next morning. WONDERFUL, wonderful preaching session on Dennis's Internet got me pumped and soaring. Subject: No Boundaries.
No Boundaries? Yeah! No Boundaries because we are NOT OF THIS WORLD! Remember that scripture? It's Jesus talking! (remember; the Red words WIN!)
"I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world." John 17:14.
Wow! That light bulb again!
This computer is part of this world. I am not. I was given dominion over this world. I have the authority. MY COMPUTER DOES NOT HAVE AUTHORITY! I DO! YEAH!
I knew what I had to do. Start all over. This time do it right. Tell it what to do and how to behave. And use the name of Jesus.
Woo Hoo! I am on top this time! I am NOT on the bottom! I am NOT a victim! I am a Child of God "wholly filled and flooded with God, Himself!". YES!
It's been 2 days. I am writing this Blog on THAT computer!
YES!!! JESUS IS LORD!!! (I knew it already :-))))
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