present yourself as a living sacrifice

Romans 12:1  "I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship."

Wow.  In clarification of this verse you showed me 'Marriage'.  In the year to year living of life in a marriage, the couple go 'through' rough areas that make them even closer - know each other more deeply - and become more of 'one' mind - as we see older couples who even finish each other's sentences - because they know - they have become so 'alike'. 

The same thing has happened and is still happening in my relationship with you, Lord.  In talking to you every day - in crawling into your lap when I'm devastated with pain - in dancing, twirling in great circles for the joy - in quietness and sweet, softness of your peace - my heart; my soul are overwhelmed with the Love - the intense enveloping Love.  I chuckle because I ran from it once - when it overwhelmed me - it felt as though I would explode - and I asked you to stop just a little because it was too great to bear.  Now I laugh because you showed me not to try to absorb and hold it as though I was a container for it - but rather let it flow 'through' me like a river and as it swells and bursts through me, it will spill on to others.  And that is the "fruit" that we bear for You.  Not because we "try" to do it - but because YOU do it automatically as you spill over in us.  Now I come to bask in this Love anytime I want.  I've learned how easily accessible you are to me - just like my husband.  Your response is immediate.  And, yes, I have even begun to finish Your sentences for You (sometimes).  I know Your thought before it is finished (sometimes).   And I wonder in amazement that we came to be in this kind of union.  I never imagined it could be this way.

Now I see this verse again; to present myself to You a living sacrifice - and I wonder - is there something in me that I have held back?  And immediately I know there is.  This time it was a fear; fear that You would ask something too big, too hard, too far, too much - and I struggled.  And You let me struggle with it for a bit - as long as I held it to myself.  And You waited, quietly, patiently . . . lovingly

- until I came to You. 

And immediately I knew my fears were so ridiculously unwarranted.  You know me better than I know myself.  I am safer than Safe.  And I can laugh again, now. 

There is NOTHING I can't trust You with.  Nothing.  <big sigh - smile> 

OK, I GIVE!